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Kes and shoulders

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News that Vancouver Canucks centre Ryan Kesler had successfully undergone surgery to repair a torn labrum and would be recuperating for the next six months sent many members of K&K reeling—and not just because we mistook the word “labrum” for an intimate part of a woman.

A labrum, in fact, is a cuff of cartilage that circles a person’s shallow shoulder socket and helps make the shoulder joint more stable, allowing them to better hold up a large trophy. Sigh.

What Kesler’s convalescence means to the Canucks next season after a disappointing exit from the Stanley Cup playoffs and far too few K&K hockey haikus is anyone’s guess. But not having Kesler’s washboard abs and beguiling treasure trail steaming up the locker room day in and day out, pumping up his teammates and invigorating the Canucks’ levels of manjuice will undoubtedly put strain on the team’s lineup, particularly the loss of his skills as a prized towel snapper.

Last year, the one-two towel punch of Kesler and brother-in-ab Chris Higgins thoroughly dominated Team Ginger (the Sedins and Cory Schneider) in the post-shower towel fighting tournaments in the locker room.

Whether Canucks management will go after a free agent who’s good with the towel (rumour has it Tampa Bay’s Ryan Malone is a beast in the terrycloth department), pairs Higgins up with defenseman Kevin Bieska or lets Higgins go it alone and looks the other way as he resorts to the controversial technique of wetting the end of his towel to achieve maximum welts on his pasty opponents is unclear.

Whatever the case, Kesler and his rivulets of glistening belly moss will be missed. Get well soon, Kes.



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